“I hardly recognise the person I was”
“Looking back over my life, I had no issues growing up. I had a happy childhood with loving parents and a good education. There was no reason to explain why I became an addict. It just began with a love for partying.
I started drinking heavily and doing drugs when I was in my 20s. I’d go out on a Thursday night and wouldn’t sleep until Sunday. Despite my party lifestyle, I still managed to function well in my day-to-day life. I had a good job and my own home. When I was 29, I moved to Australia and hooked up with a crowd of people who, like me, enjoyed getting wasted. I saw myself as a free spirit and told myself that I’d stop when I was ready.
Two years later I came home, keen to settle down. I met a man who was caring and dependable, and we got married. My husband knew I had a drinking problem and encouraged me to get help. I tried everything. I went to my GP, had counselling, went to AA, read books, did detoxes and sought help from the church. Each detox got rid of the physical effects of addiction but it didn’t stop what was going on in my head.
A few years after getting married, I became pregnant with our son. When he was born, he was quite poorly and ended up in intensive care. I struggled to cope and turned to drinking once again. In the years that followed, things gradually went downhill. I was drinking a litre of vodka a day and my marriage ended. My health deteriorated too. I got a burst ulcer and spent time in the hospital recovering.
I wasn’t capable of looking after my son and, eventually, my husband took full custody of him. After that, I moved into a crack den with other addicts. Drinking and doing drugs was my main occupation. My weight dropped to seven stone and my hair started falling out. Once again, I ended up in hospital – this time with pneumonia and sepsis. I was put on life support for three weeks. That’s when I finally got the help I needed. The hospital’s drug and alcohol team referred me to The Well. Everything changed after that.
I moved into one of The Well’s recovery houses in Barrow-in-Furness and followed the 12-step programme. I went to the gym every morning, then took part in group sessions in the afternoons and evenings. I also did some voluntary work for The Well. Each day had a purpose and I felt connected and valued. It took me 10 months to complete the programme, and I’ve now been sober and drug-free for more than four years.
I hardly recognise the person I was. My life has been transformed. After getting a job as a key worker for The Well, last year I became a senior recovery worker. I get a lot of satisfaction from helping others and sharing my story. The best thing to come out of my recovery is the new relationship I have with my son, who’s now 11. I had to gradually reconnect with him, and now I share custody. I’m taking him on holiday this summer, which will mark a major milestone for me.
It’s hard to measure just how much my life has changed. There was a time when I’d lost everything and I almost died. Now, I look around and I can’t quite believe how lucky I am.”